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Herriard with Winslade, Tunworth, Upton Grey, Weston Patrick
MARRIAGE
It's lovely that you would like to get married at one of our parish churches and we hope you have a wonderful and memorable day. What follows is to help you with some of the practical issues.
Preliminaries to the Marriage
Parliament has laid down the preliminaries that need to be fulfilled before you can get married in a particular church. Because this is set down in Law, it is important that the rules are followed and met: a marriage cannot take place without them. In 2008 Parliament agreed to legal changes initiated by the Church of England, and an engaged couple now has more options to help them marry in the church of their choice.
In law you can get married in a particular church if you, or one of you, presently resides in that parish. The 2008 legislation increases this further and makes marriage possible if just one of the following applies:
- One of you has at any time lived in the parish for six months or more.
- One of you was baptised or prepared for confirmation in the parish.
- One of you has ever regularly attended normal church services in the parish for six months or more.
- One of your parents has lived in the parish for six months or more at any time after you were born.
- One of your parents has regularly attended normal church services in the parish for six months or more at any time after you were born.
- A parent or grandparent of one of you was married in the parish.
Even if none of these apply, there are additional ways that the marriage in a particular parish church becomes possible: for instance by getting your name on the church electoral roll or by applying for what is known as a licence. Further details of these possibilities can be discussed with you if necessary when you make contact.
It is worth noting that in this area there are 12 churches working together and, if you are allowed to marry in any one of them, you can choose an alternative church from within all 12. This gives a great deal of flexibility and choice, ranging from a large village church holding over 400 people to a tiny church holding only about 40 people in a quiet rural setting.
Finally, it is important to stress that the Banns must be read in the church where you are getting married and (if different) in the church or churches where each of you is resident.
These preliminaries may feel tiresome, but because it is the Law and I want to make sure your marriage is legal, we must abide by them.
Marriage where one of the parties is divorced and has a former spouse still living
All the four parishes of Herriard with Winslade, Tunworth, Upton Grey and Weston Patrick have agreed to consider the possibility of marriage where one of the parties is divorced and has a former spouse still living. If this applies to you, please say. Some further notes on this subject are available here.
Between now and your wedding day
At our first meeting, which is usually several months before the wedding, we discuss options and any relevant guidelines or issues and set a date and a time. I will outline several choices you need to make (see below) and when you go away you will have time to discuss together the choices you would like to make. We then meet twice more, to discuss options and choices you make and to talk about your hopes for your marriage. We then have a final meeting, normally on the evening before you marry, in church to have a practice of the ceremony.
The Choices
It is your wedding day and there are lots of ways through your choices, you can make it a day that is very personal to you. In law there are certain words you need to use for the marriage itself, but round these there are many flexible choices (such as readings and music) that you can make. The basic choice is whether you want to use old traditional language or modern, new language. I will discuss both with you, so you can see the difference in emphasis as well as in language, and you can make the choice that is right for you. You also have choices relating to readings, hymns and other music, and I refer to these below.
Readings
Between one and three readings are possible. The choice is yours. One at least needs to be from the bible. You may have a reading you want or I can show you a selection of readings that I sometimes use. Additional readings can be chosen by you and, once agreed, flexibility is possible providing the words are fitting.
Hymns
There are usually three hymns. The choice for these is yours, though I encourage you to choose hymns whose tune is likely to be known to the congregation. Having said that, there is flexibility even here. At one recent wedding I took, the congregation were taught the tune of one of the hymns before the service started! I can lend you hymn books from the church for you to go through together. Normally the organist will be Helen Long. Helen's fee is generally £80 unless specific arrangements are required. If you would like to discuss this with Helen please call her on 01256 466300.
Other Music
You need to choose music both to come in and go out to. Our organists are very good and can cope with most traditional and, indeed, a lot of modern music. Sometimes couples like a CD recording instead to go out and this is fine, provided the words fit the occasion. Sometimes a couple have friends who are good singers and good musicians and it is good to accommodate extra music in the service.
There are three additional points to note:
Bells
At Upton Grey you could have bells rung for 10 minutes prior to the wedding and 10 minutes after the wedding - please contact Michael Church on 01256 862857 if interested. Similar arrangements apply at Herriard, and the cost is £100 - please contact Bob Ives on 01256 381218 if interested. Upton Grey and Herriard each have six bells; there are no bells at Tunworth or Weston Patrick.
Flowers
You will probably want to organise your own flowers, but you need to liaise with the person who is in charge of flower arranging in the church. Church florists are as follows:
Herriard: Sara Jervoise (01256 381723)
Tunworth: Mary Darnell (01256 460430)
Upton Grey: Barbara Anderson (01256 862627)
Weston Patrick: Daphne Bird (01256 862671)
Parking
At Upton Grey, the field opposite the church can be rented: please speak to Geoff Webb on 01256 862389. The same situation works at Herriard: please ring John Jervoise on 01256 381275. At both Tunworth and Weston Patrick, owing to the geographical layout, parking is limited.
Application for Banns of Marriage to be read
For your convenience the form to request the reading of the Banns of Marriage is available here. You can complete the form on your PC and copy its contents into my email contact form on this site; or you can download the form, fill it in on the computer, save it and email it to me; or, if you prefer, download it, print it, complete it by hand then give or send it to me. A reminder that if one (or both) of you is resident in a parish different from where you are getting married, you will need also to apply for the banns to be read in the church (or churches) where you are resident.
Inevitably, you will have lots of questions so always feel free to contact me. Once again, we are delighted that you are getting married in one of our churches.
With very best wishes
Peter Dyson
Rector (01256 861750)
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